"I want a colonic."

Tonight we’re playing a show in Cardiff, a Charity show. Doesn’t that just make us look very mature and conscientious? I’ll start wearing large framed dark sunglasses and sprouting shamrocks out about Irish national pride and the song Vertigo, perhaps. It’s a better idea to carry on with our EP release ‘The Saltway’  which is coming out in the next few weeks. It will be on Spotify, which means, you can be that person at a party who adds an unknown band on to the playlist, skips to them and acts as if people should know exactly what it is (if they do ask who it is, I give you permission to gasp and tusk about how much more you know about modern music than them). 

     Hearing complaints and grievances hollered about this time of year is regular, not for Ron. How do I avoid them? I use projects that involve Jason Schwartzman. 2010 is my second Autumn/Fall using this method. 

     Bored to Death is a HBO series written by acclaimed author ‘Jonathan Ames’ which debuted in September 2009, it has just come back. Having recently read Ames’ his first novel ‘I Pass Like Night’, you expect his series to be similarly uncomfortable yet humorous, it’s more the other way around. Schwartzman plays a struggling New-York-Writer who is moonlighting as an amateur private detective, it is his way of escaping from the reality of going through a tough break-up and his success as a writer gradually waning (it’s a semi-autobiographical take on Ames’ own life). The script has a similar stylised nature as his novels do and with the acting being faultless, it translates effectively. Their overly inquisitive, emotional and nervous natures are derivative from their discontent with their own lives, they’ve become children again and it makes for incredibly intriguing interactions with the world and one another. In Particular, there is an atmosphere between Schwartzman, Danson and Galifianakis which makes the most obscene and more regular bits of dialogue hilarious. Series Two is currently being aired in America, download all of series one and then you can just torrent it week by week as it comes out, like we all do.

Coconut Records.

    The next thing that helps me through the early nights and winter solstice is Schwartzman’s solo music project, Coconut Records. Davy (2^nd Album) is in essence a really good record, but I’m going to talk about Nighttiming (1^st Album); as it just feels like so much more of a concise idea. The album itself is accessible and fairly conventional, but it’s all so heartbreaking. The simplistic vocal melodies are coy and tied together with the piano; these two instruments are very much the driving force behind Coconut Records. There is plenty of extra instrumentation yet generally it’s decoration as oppose to poignant features, of course there are exceptions but it boasts more so when this is the case. Nighttiming pushes you into the state of mind similar to that of when a relationship is spiralling into decline and you know you’ve had your last kiss. You become a bathetic person. When the lyric ‘Am I Making Sense?’ is repeated at the end of the ‘Ask her to Dance’, it conjures a feeling that a wry smile is the answer to the album, perhaps it was a passing thought.

   The other alternatives for these months are that you go into hibernation or release your own sophomore EP. I’m doing all of the above, right now.

I'm a business, man.

Humpday.

I got an email through this morning from a casting agency with an attached script written by a Spanish woman from London film school. After reading it, I drew two opposing conclusions. The first was that I’d read a well-written, clever, simple story based around a young couple. The second was that the role required me to get my cock out in the penultimate scene; what a dilemma. After thoughts, I'm just gonna go with the flow and just try to make this wonderful… be positive, may well be Mélanie Laurent co-starring.

After that, this seems completely appropriate.

I was scrolling through films to enjoy whilst I worked. The process is that I watch their introductions and decide whether they’re worth the time. Spirits were low, being hit by both ‘Jumper’ & the new A team’ consecutively can hurt a guy, so at last chance saloon I came across ‘Humpday’. Honestly, it’s become one of my favourite openings to a film. A husband and wife are half asleep in bed holding and kissing one another, a little enthusiasm is conjured until she pulls away and sighs contently, he asks her what is wrong and she is sent into laughter about how tired she is, he agrees and starts laughing too, the facade is over and they say they love one another. It’s a perfect start; melancholic, honest and heartfelt as it continues. Humpday begins slowly and maintains that. The pacing is just absolutely appropriate; allowing you to appreciate the characters, quality of atmosphere and their subtle claustrophobic interactions. It is centralised around the friendship of two old friends, one of which has become domesticated, the other is a vagabond artist and the premise deals with their involvement in an art project. The concept of which is making an art house porn film that requires two completely heterosexual males to shag, therefore surpassing sexuality. Between their friendship’s ‘one-upmanship’ and the domesticated character’s insecurities about his ‘trying-for-baby-picket-fence’ lifestyle it turns into an ironically macho conquest. Completely unscripted dialogue and shot mumblecore style in two weeks. Watch it, it’s really good.

If you feel like you’ve lost anything from reading this, here’s something back; my latest hand in philanthropy. Nicotowel; the functions of both the nicotine patch and the sanitary towel (menstrual pad) joined together. Say hello to Peter Jones and Duncan Ballantyne, you lucky millionaire, Deborah Meaden should be the first one in line to purchase (years subscription, extra thick). Cheers.

Groucho Marx the spot.

I'm such an optimist; I've been introducing myself as 'Ron' recently so that I appear jollier than I am.

Hi, I'm Ron.

So, all of us are working especially hard getting this EP done for November time, we've even got Jamie Theakston doing the final mixes and mastering down in London. Whilst he's been doing that, Me, Pete & Joe have been eagerly emailing around to support it, John's been 'arting' like hell and Tom... Tom's always really busy too.

So, the other day I bought Deerhunter's 'Halcyon digest'. The theme of the week being optimism, this album certainly leaves that taste in Ron's mouth. It instantly encapsulates and maintains until it eventually enthrals, surpassing itself and becoming something really gut-wrenching. From 'Basement Scene' to 'He Would have Laughed' is just such an incredible succession of music you almost don't want to soil the taste the album leaves in your mouth by listening again. The feeling? Sentimentality. Sure, there are some darker themes that are dealt with but they're explored in a really naive, interesting and blunt light. Texturally, throughout, 'Halcyon Digest' is terrifically adept, giving it so many charming and surprising elements as it progresses. Swirls of instrumentation pitted against the stand-out lyrical themes of youth and sentiment make for such a gratifying, personal listen. 

If anything I've just said seems either boring or arguable, I was just being ironic, I'm actually of a really high understanding and stuff.

Cheers.